A Touch of Insanity

I've somehow gone almost 2 months posting every day. I'm not sure how I did it.

I don't believe it is possible to update daily anymore. No, nothing bad has happened, I just ran out of subject matter. Especially since it's "summer" right now. So, I'll probably have more to talk about in the fall, once school is in session again.

That doesn't mean I won't post, it just means I'm not going to post daily.

Sunday Reading: 5/22/11

Card of the Day:	Reversed Ace of Coins
Interpretation:	Maybe my timing's off, or I'm stupidly spending my money. I wouldn't be surprised.

Past: Reversed Star

Today, I've done this reading late. My day is already over, and this is actually the card for today, I fear. Disappointment, and the loss of a friend. I've made my decision. I can't, and I won't, turn my back on it now.

Present: Reversed Queen of Coins

The person I refer to above reminds of this card, or the card reminds me of him, one of the two. Yes, HIM. I'm not sure the Queen must be female, as the description (lazy, selfish, suspicious, unreliable) is perfect for him.

Future: Reversed Ace of Wands

My projects (and shopping) will be hectic this week. Too much is going on, and I don't have enough time to do it. Perhaps if I set my expectations to "slower", I can make it through safely.

Yesterday's Card:	The Devil
Reflection:	Perhaps the deck is just confused? I'm really clueless.

Oh Boy

Card of the Day:	The Devil
Interpretation:	Temp...tation? WHAT!? Goodness, it's hard to understand these cards during the summer.

They're making me watch Star Wars!

Ok, so I've somehow lived this long without seeing it. Yes, I admit it. It's not that hard to believe. I don't watch movies. I really don't. I don't watch TV series. I really don't. I haven't seen Star Wars. We're fixing this. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Nine of Coins
Reflection:	I... what?

You All Suck. Stop Making Me Write About You

Card of the Day:	Reversed Nine of Coins
Interpretation:	Theft? Of something of mine, or something I will do? Ugh, I don't like this at all.

Miracles can happen.

During my early adolescence, I was a very introverted person. Mind you, I've always been loud, which doesn't quite go with introverted, but it is possible to keep to yourself and be boisterous. Most people probably wouldn't believe me these days though. I'm rather extroverted these days. Although I can't point at any particular event or person as to why this is the case, I know that sometime during high school, I learned the true value of friendship. Not the "meaning", the value.

After this essentially life-changing discovery, I'm having problems stopping. I have made more friends in the last 2 years than I think I did in my entire time in elementary and middle school. But it's not a quantity that I desire, it's a quality. And that's the thing, I've been spending time to cultivate these new friendships. They aren't merely passing acquaintances that I desperately call "friends". I truly believe in these relationships, and I ensure that the anchor is as strong on my end as it is on theirs.

It is for this reason that I lift my head high every day. Yes, it's irritating when they're on summer vacation and I have to kick them out fairly early in the evening so I can go to sleep, but you know what? The fact that I have to kick them out just confirms what I want to believe: we are friends, in every sense of the word.

Huh, I'm pretty sure this post got away from me. Oops.

Yesterday's Card:	Queen of Cups
Reflection:	Ok, so she was on my mind, but I never actually got a chance to see her... I'm really confused!

Whoops

I honestly lost a day. I was SO scatterbrained this morning, that I can't remember my card for the day, I forgot all of my necessary role-playing materials for the session tonight. This is just BAD.

I apologize, there's really nothing I can post today. I lost it.

Connect the Dots

Card of the Day:	Queen of Cups
Interpretation:	...? I'm really not sure about this one.

It's not the things you do, it's the people you know. They're the ones that can get you resources beyond your personal reach. They're the ones that lift you up when you're down. Sure, a good deed here and there might lift your spirits, but you still have to do the good deed for someone. A rich life is full of other people that you love. Of course, alone time is necessary and valuable, but that doesn't mean you can't pick up the phone and call a friend when you need to.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed King of Coins
Reflection:	Right on the money. Come on man, get it together!

Falsify

Card of the Day:	Reversed King of Coins
Interpretation:	Superficial and lazy. Worthless. Perhaps not quite so... severe, but it is, unfortunately, accurate.

Have you seen my happy face?
I need to put it on
To hide the pain and sorrow:
Something others must not see.
I hide behind behind this mask,
Though something isn't right.
My world is collapsing,
Shattering, destroyed.
I hide behind this mask
To block the ceaseless tears.
I hide behind this mask
To prove that nothing's wrong,
When inside I'm really quaking,
Defeated, destroyed.

I wrote this poem in high school. To be honest, I'm not even sure why anymore. I know I did it as a cry for help (I attempted to post a bunch of copies around my school anonymously, but, thankfully, a teacher caught me in the act.), but I can't remember anymore what I was so upset/depressed/angry/whatever about.

What I do know is something good came out of this, and I use this poem as a symbol of my growth. I am a person who couldn't write something like this anymore. The emotion that led to this isn't there. While not the best poem, it is mine, and I will remember it always.

Yesterday's Card:	Nine of Swords
Reflection:	That's what it has to be. It IS what's on my brain, after all.

Help, I'm Drowning in a Sea of Role-Playing!

Card of the Day:	Nine of Swords
Interpretation:	See the card from 2 days ago. Perhaps there IS something that I am worried about. Or want and know I can't have. *whistles nonchalantly*

Ugh, this is terrible! I have been on SUCH an RP kick that it's all that's on my brain. Anyway, here goes.

A friend is GMing a single player Pokémon campaign for me. First, I love Pokémon in general, but the games and the anime have always been too kid friendly. Now, this campaign is not like those adaptations. Instead, this is a lot closer to Pokémon Special. Basically, it's a lot darker, with actual death, and even creepier and crazier abilities. Of course, the GM has changed the world to her specifications.

Well, my character is an odd one. Izlude Dralin comes from a family of Psychics, though they tend to keep quiet about it. They live in Petalburg City in the Hoenn region (here's where my Pokémon cred comes out). When he was six, the Champion himself helped him catch his first Pokémon, a female Poochyena, whom Izlude named Lana. At nine, he took a trip to Granite Cave by himself, because he's a little to adventurous for his own good. There, a Sableye possessed the poor child, due to his Psychic powers. The Sableye twisted those powers to its own purpose, allowing the Sableye to syphon energy from Izlude.

Izlude is a very athletic, bright, adventurous young man now, at age 17. He enjoys running, especially along the beach at sunrise. Lana, now a Mightyena, is always by his side, partly from love and loyalty, partly from Sableye's twisting of Izlude's powers.

Mind you, this Sableye, as much as it is a detail of Izlude, is a character in and of himself. Playing it is HARD, especially when you haven't yet treated it as a character. Ad libbing characterization is difficult.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Page of Coins
Reflection:	Yes. Yes I know who this is. Should I attempt to help?

Sunday Reading: 5/15/11

Card of the Day:	Reversed Page of Coins
Interpretation:	I think I know who this actually represents in my life now. Especially since this is similar to the last time this card came up.

Past: Two of Coins

I was juggling the summer activities with the pressure of finals. Accordingly, I somehow juggled them and succeeded.

Present: Knight of Wands

I am NOT a passionate young man! NOT I TELL YOU! I AM NO SUCH... ok, wow, I guess I am. As I have discovered, I have a passion for writing. Guess what I've been doing a lot of?

Future: Three of Coins

This is success with friends. Reconnections, forging new ones, and, in general, happy fun times all around. Somehow, I knew this would be the card for this week. Here's to a week of successful planning!

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Lovers
Reflection:	Is this supposed to represent longing for something I can't have? I'm positive I've come to terms with that, though...

Happy Time!

Card of the Day:	Reversed Lovers
Interpretation:	...? Ok, I have no idea. I really, really don't. It's exactly as implied, love lost. WHAT!?

I'll make this one short and sweet. I'M DONE. This semester is over, it is now "summer". Huzzah!

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Temperence
Reflection:	I think I have a lot of things on my mind or something. It must be that, because this doesn't make sense in any other interpretation.

The Evolution of Words

Card of the Day:	Reversed Temperance
Interpretation:	What am I forgetting to balance? What am I ignoring in favor of other things?

I love writing. It's a way to create a world without having to utilize my mediocre, at best, artistry. Of course, one needs a way with a words to be able to create such a world with writing, and hopefully you've realized by now that I do, in fact, have such a talent. Of course, I might just be pompous, but I do believe that my writing is at least sufficiently developed.

The thing I am discovering, though, is that I'm not very good at world creation. Remember, I have been doing a lot of role playing recently. What I'm learning is I'm not all that interested in the worlds that my characters explore. What I'm really interested in are the people. Worlds are merely places in which characters interact.

That said, the most important character when playing (not GMing) an RPG is your own. I have developed a strange (at least, I think it's strange) way of creating my characters. When I first create a character, I have barely an inkling of who he is supposed to be. I mean, I've got all sorts of stats written down so I can play the game mechanically, but I don't really know who my character IS yet. It's like meeting someone for an interview. You know what they're capable of, but you don't know who they are. But as I play them for a bit, a personality and background begin to form.

As an example, last night we started a D&D 4e campaign. I went in thinking that I was going to play a Half-Orc Warlord, but for some reason, my character is now a Hobgoblin Bard named Kol. I haven't a clue why (ok, so he's a Hobgoblin because of +2 Con +2 Cha, but a BARD? Huh). So, my newly created character needed a personality. I got as far as, ok, he's a Hobgoblin, so gruff and tough, before I ran out of pre-game ideas.

Somehow, "gruff and tough" became "military man", probably because I, for some reason, am playing a Bard that has no training in Diplomacy (I've got Intimidate instead) and no instrument. Yelling and singing are Kol's forte. Why? Well, I only started him last night. I don't know yet!

And thus the crux of my writing strategy: I do not write my characters. I come up with a basis for them, maybe a single aspect or two. I then start playing them and watch them evolve. A well-written character is its own living, breathing entity. I don't write my characters. I meet them, then I get to know them, like an acquaintance that turns out to be a good friend. Yes, I technically am the one that decides how the character reacts to any given situation, but in all honesty, it doesn't feel that way to me.

This is why I like role playing. Watching characters come to life is awe-inspiring, especially when they grow and change like a living being. I have no idea what is in store for Kol, but I'll be right there with him as he learns and discovers the world around him.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Ten of Wands
Reflection:	The burden is LIGHTENED. As in, it's fallen off. Whew.

Spence'd

Ok, I have to do this.

A good friend of mine introduced me to Spence a few weeks ago. Recently, I have started talking to the bassist and the singer. The friend and I have been "harassing" them so we can get more music. Spence has just put out its EP, and we're having fun getting "in" with these guys while they're getting big. The good news? Apparently we're funny :D

Either way, Spence is Hard Rock / Post-Grunge - Spence has been compared to artists such as Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, Three Days Grace, 30 Seconds To Mars. If you like any of those, you REALLY should check out Spence. Mostly because I'm telling you to, because they're awesome. Also, they're fun to talk to. I know, crazy, ain't it?

Told Through Eyes

Card of the Day:	Reversed Ten of Wands
Interpretation:	The burden is... off. Or at least I've set it down. Here's to hoping I remember to pick it back up.

Let's be honest with each other.

I know you want to tell me something.
I can see it in your eyes.

I'll listen.
You don't want me to.
But I'll listen.

The words are trapped behind your lips.
They twist and curl,
But your lips remain firmly shut.
Instead, your eyes betray your pain.

Shhh. Don't speak.
There are words you want to say.
I can hear them trying to break free.
I know you fight to swallow them.
The message is one you cannot share.

But I understand why you want to.
The reasons drip down your face,
Out of your eyes, into your hands.
While you fight to keep the words inside,
Their message speaks to me loud and clear.
Shhh. Don't speak, but don't push me away.

Your heart shines through your eyes.
There is nothing but pain and grief.
I wrap you in my arms: safe, secure, warm.
And in this haven, this sacred cocoon,
A flicker of hope appears.
Don't tell me, I can see you can't.
Love has no need for words.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Sun
Reflection:	False hope for today seems more accurate than failure yesterday. @%&#. Pardon my Hungarian.

Crescendo's Incants

Card of the Day:	Reversed Sun
Interpretation:	Pardon my French... but @#$*. This is, in fact, possibly the worst sign I could get in relevance to finals. Well, here's to hoping things go well.

Yesterday I posted Ishmael's incants. Today shall be Crescendo's. I need to have these lists SOMEWHERE... and I like the interwebs. (See this post for a character description)

• Enhance: It's fun to stay at the YMCA! It's fun to stay at the Enhance! (YMCA - Village People)
• Haven: Can't Touch This! Doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo Can't touch this! Haven! (U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer)
• Heal: You can't stop the motion of the ocean or the sun in the sky. You can wonder if you wanna but I never ask why. Heal. (You Can't Stop the Beat - Hairspray)
• Religion Lore:
• Repulse Good/Neutral/Evil: You know I make you wanna run from me baby, but no it's too late Repulse! (Scream - Avenged Sevenfold)
• Reveal Magic/Supernatural Creatures: I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue! Reveal! (Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King)
• Simon's Spell: Why don't you do what you say? Say what you mean? Oh baby one thing leads to Simon's Spell! (One Thing Leads to Another - The Fixx)

• Additional Armor and Damage vs. Supernatural:
• Bump of Direction:
• Create Holy Water:
• Foresee:
• Freeze Disease/Poison:
• Pay Advance (God's Boon):
• Know Religion:
• Supernatural Wathit:

• Life Spark: Just open your eyes. Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful. Will you swear on your life that no one will cry... Life Spark! (Life is Beautiful - Sixx A.M.)

Again, blank spells don't have incants yet, as I'm level 1 and haven't really played Crescendo yet.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Three of Coins
Reflection:	... I hate it when I'm right. Insert bombshell here.

Ishmael's Incants

Card of the Day:	Reversed Three of Coins
Interpretation:	In traditional interpretations, this means the opposite of success through hard work. In other words, failure through laziness. While I can see that being the case, I don't think that's really what's going to happen. The Three of Coins for me has indicated success in social situations, particularly among of friends... What will happen with the reverse?

Ok, so I'm going to store these somewhere anyway. I want them online, so I can access them from essentially anywhere, and I like to share them with other people.

Incants:
Any word in all caps is replaced, depending on the spell I am casting. I had too much fun writing them NOT to share them!

5 second
Generic:
"Emotion! Fool's Dream! Invoke the power of ELEMENT! NOUN's melody! Sing SPELLNAME!"
(SPELLNAME: ELEMENT, NOUN)
Brand(ing): Fire, Iron
Crash Time: Darkness, Star
Dead Eye: Wind, Arrow
Defense: Earth, Shield
Electrify: Wind, Lightning
Enthrall: Light, Honey
Lock: Wind, Key
Mend: Earth, Hammer
Reveal Magic: Light, Lens
Speak Easy: Wind, Voice

Awaken: Light, Sun
Fog Brain: Water, Mist
Mage's Script: Water, Ink
Message: Wind, Echo
Spook: Darkness, Ghost
Strong Arm: Earth, Sinew

Know Aura/Savvy:
"A suave and intelligent man such as myself would know something about you/this, right? Because I('m) Know Aura/Savvy!"

10 second
Generic:
"Cinco, fingers on a dying hand! Cuatro, words on a dying breath! Tres, promises made in love! Dos, eyes that will never open! Uno, the pact of the rose! VERB! SPELLNAME!"

(SPELLNAME: VERB)
Bloodhound: Search
Confusion: Muddle
Create Scroll: Create
Dropsy: Fumble
LI (Enhancement) +1: Believe
Weakness: Wither

Dispel Magic: Shatter
Fire/Ice/Lighting Strike: Burn/Cry/Burst
Spell Defense: Protect

15 second
Generic:
"To wit: redemption is the white wings hung as the veils of the righteous. Their catalyst belongs to life and death. Watch as they fall and envelop me! Make your choice! Hear love's final verse! PHRASE. SPELLNAME!"

Fire Trap: Only a thief can trick a thief
Fire Ball: Feast in celebration
Ice Ball: Sing in lamentation
Lightning Ball: Dance in exaltation
Mental Signal: You always know best
Missile Protection: Look out for me
Tracer:

Acuity: Surely you remember something
Concentration: I believe in angels
Enhanced Savvy: (I'm pretty sure I need to come up with a special incant for this one)
LI (Enhancement) +2: It is not by my power alone
Spell Negation:
Stun:
Telekinesis: Would you do me a favor?

Autocast: Her voice resides
Double Effect:
Polymorph:
True Sight:

Petrify: Let my grief become you
Spell Absorption:

Bolt: A lonely cry in the night
Wall of Fire/Ice/Lightning:

Blast: Heaven's voice roars
Killing Attack: Today you've chosen death
LI Extension:

Any and all blanks are to be filled in later. Spells are grouped by level, and I'm only level 4.

Yesterday's Card:	Knight of Cups
Reflection:	I only had opportunities to be myself yesterday... through role-playing. Ok, so I was amongst friends and family in such a way that I would be true to myself. This card does represent me. The me I so truly am.

Sunday Reading: 5/8/11

Card of the Day:	Knight of Cups
Interpretation:	... I still don't know what this means. Mostly because I claim I know myself. Maybe I'm just accentuating myself today? I don't know.

Past: Reversed Ace of Wands

Motivation? What's that? I barely scraped by this last week... and I'm just happy it's over.

Present: Reversed Seven of Wands

Finals? What are those? I'm essentially ignoring the fact that finals are right around the corner. I really should be studying hardcore for these, but I'm just kinda sliding along...

Future: Reversed Ace of Swords

It seems that impotence is ready to strike. We'll see if I can overcome my desire for things to already be done, and put in that effort I know I require.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Nine of Swords
Reflection:	I feel fantastic... although finals are looming. But they're just finals, you know? I've NEVER worried about finals.

What I Like About You

Card of the Day:	Reversed Nine of Swords
Interpretation:	...? I mean, I know I feel relieved, and I'm still on my whole "I'M SO DONE" high, but... oh. Right.

Mom, this is for you.

1. You've always trusted me. There were never restrictions on online or video game time. There were never any parental controls. And with that trust, you made me a man that IS trustworthy, because I wouldn't want to betray that trust of freedom.
2. You've always let me do what I wanted. Even when you suggested that I was doing "too many things" in high school, you only suggested. You never forced me to do anything I truly didn't want to do.
3. You've always comforted me. Even when I brought the stress upon myself from too much procrastinating, you were STILL there to comfort me, though you did point out that I'm an idiot. Oh well, I totally deserved it.
4. You try new things for and with me. As soon as I got into board games, you were there with me. Even if you're pretty sure you won't like it, you try it anyway. I love how you humor me.
5. You're resourceful. There are many times where you've helped me with a project, and if you couldn't, you knew who to ask. And you were never afraid to help me with anything. Even if you didn't understand it, you were a fantastic sounding board.
6. You are as much a part of my group of friends as the actual friends. We do all sorts of things together. I still remember that day I got home from work, and a friend pulled in right behind me, with you in the backseat. I hadn't even been at the same place as you guys! Yes, it was really weird, but it did remind me of all the things I love about you.
7. You are witty. You claim you're not, but you have a way with words that can't really be called anything else. Our verbal spars are some of the more enjoyable I have, though that's probably because every other one I've had devolves into setup and follow-through of the WORST dirty jokes ever...
8. You made me a geek. That Super Nintendo that started this whole thing? You brought it home. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
9. An extension of the above: you try. There are a lot of people in this world who won't step outside their comfort zones, even under pressure. You're not one of them. Yes, you love your comfort zone, but who doesn't? Even so, you try the things I throw at you, even if you're not sure you understand them. I love you for that.
10. You're beautiful. Ok, so that's probably weird coming from your son, but you know what? I'm saying it anyway. No one would believe you are actually the age you are, and you don't even use makeup! How many people have such a natural beauty as that? Not many, I would wager. So don't let anyone tell you that you are anything other than beautiful, because they would be lying.
11. You have a sense of humor. See your wit above. Pranks, jokes, riddles, and just witty statements, you've got them all. What's not to love?

So Mom, happy Mother's Day. I'm aware that telling the world how awesome you are probably isn't what you want me to do, but you always tell everyone you meet how awesome I am, so I'm just returning the favor.

I love you.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Nine of Swords
Reflection:	WE'RE DONE. I am SO done. Done. Done. Done... ok, so I need to study for finals. Whatever. They're not class, at least.

My Mother... My Sister

Card of the Day:	Reversed Nine of Swords
Interpretation:	A sense of repose from finality. In other words, moving on the from the darkness into the light. Specifically, it's the end of the semester. SWEET!

My relationship with my mother is a strange one. We do not treat each other in what most people would consider to be "mother/son" relations. I certainly don't treat her as my mother.

In reality, we have a "big brother/little sister" relation going. I look out for her, and she looks up to me. Like I said, it's weird. Honestly, though, we both love each other dearly, and I think that's what truly matters. Besides, she was probably one of the best mothers I could have asked for when I was little (more on that "tomorrow").

Just a little note: Mom, I love you. Don't EVER forget that. Even though we fight sometimes, I don't want you to forget for one instant how important you are to me. It's why we fight, actually. I want you to be the best you can be. I've seen things you are only just starting to discover, and I know you can do it. So let's rock the world, mmmk?

Yesterday's Card:	Seven of Wands
Reflection:	Well, even with the stuff I had to do yesterday (some of which were, in fact, difficult), I ended yesterday at the happiest I'd been a while.

A Gift of Story

Card of the Day:	Seven of Wands
Interpretation:	Today will be hard, but I'm going to overcome this. I will put in the effort, and I will reap the rewards.

So this, and the next 3 posts, are being posted on Sunday, May 8th, also known as Mother's Day. I must be honest. I'm not one for fanfare. I don't like giving gifts that will be forgotten in 4 weeks. There's no point. Things should not have their value based solely on the act of the gift, and as soon as that act is complete, they lose all value.

No, what I like to give are stories. Humorous or sweet, it doesn't matter. Creativity is key here.

So what did I get for my mom on Mother's Day? A rainbow. No, not a picture, not a prism that makes rainbows. I brought her home an honest-to-goodness natural rainbow, like a paint stroke in the sky. This is a funny story that should last much longer than some chocolate or breakfast in bed.

First, let me state that rainbows mean a lot to my mother. I don't know if it's the biblical symbolism or what, but rainbows put her mind at ease. Thus, this actually had value, even without the story. What happened is this: I was driving home from campus, when I saw the rainbow. I called my mother, and asked her to look outside. She didn't see anything, sadly. However, I noticed that I was moving only slightly faster than the cloud bank above me, and in the same direction, to boot. The sun was shining brightly behind me, thus, the rainbow. I kept her on the phone the entire time I was driving home, describing the rainbow I saw and how I was "bringing it home". About 3 minutes from home, my mother finally saw the rainbow. She was happy, and we were both amused how well that worked. So yes, I brought my mother home a natural rainbow for Mother's day.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Ten of Swords
Reflection:	It's definitely starting to wind down. Conclusions and endings are in sight.

Blank

Card of the Day:	Reversed Ten of Swords
Interpretation:	Let's call this the beginning of the end. We're not out of the woods yet, but at least the canopy is starting to thin.

Blank, white paper,
It's such a simple thing.
So enticing, my pen crawls closer.
But what to create? Where to begin?

A word. Stop.
Think, scratch out, and begin again.
A curve, a line, a shape,
And the world begins to form.

Crumpling, a cry of frustration,
Another set of words.
Lines grow and multiply
While color comes to life.

No. It is not right.
The words flow off the page.
No. It is not wrong.
Sifting through a torn heart.

Blank, white paper,
It's such a complex thing.
Words shape the mind's desires
And create the color of life.

Yesterday's Card:	Temperance
Reflection:	Well... it's a start. Let's hope I don't backslide AGAIN. No wait... I think I might be already. Dammit.

Role Play Rambling

Card of the Day:	Temperance
Interpretation:	Balance, in all that I do. Er, at least that's the goal.

Characterization is about watching a bunch of words become a living, breathing entity.

A good writer is just as surprised as his characters when events occur.

Evolution is not just for Darwinists or Pokémon.

Power gaming in role playing games is merely a substitution for personality.

Diversification in roles not only forces you to act outside yourself, you may find facets of yourself you were not aware of.

Acting is the act of portraying a character as a story unfolds around you. Role playing is the act of creating that story through the eyes of someone else.

The excitement of that natural 20 is nothing compared to the beauty of a well-executed plan. In other words, mechanical luck is nice, but it's the truly immersed gamer that derives the most enjoyment.

The beauty is not in what is described, but what it is written between the lines.

Yesterday's Card:	Reversed Ten of Wands
Reflection:	... Or we can just drop the pile ...

Words of Praise for Fishfood

Card of the Day:	Reversed Ten of Wands
Interpretation:	Ok, I've noticed the pile. Let's start digging through it.

Everything good that has happened to my social life in the last year is the fault of my high school choir director.

Current status: Last weekend was busy for me, as I had a LARP game, followed by two nights of concerts that I performed in. In addition, two weeks ago we finished a campaign using the Spirit of the Century system (see this post), and next week we are starting a Shadowrun campaign. What does this have to do with the director? Well...

The concerts should be obvious. If it weren't for my director, I wouldn't be singing. I'd probably still be too self-conscious to try it. Considering how therapeutic I consider singing to be, I wouldn't have it any other way.

On the other hand, the gaming seems to be kind of out there. It's not that I wasn't previously interested in gaming. I've been a gamer since I was five years old. No, what the director did is put me in the right place at the right time. In my college choir, I met two people. These people are a couple, and they invited me out to two different LARPs... and through them, I met all of these other people that are now friends. This never would have happened if I had never placed a priority on joining a choir.

The story of why I joined choir (and never looked back) is actually kind of funny. My freshman year of high school, I auditioned for the musical. Now, I had never really done any singing before (church doesn't count. They don't care how good you sound there), but I took a stab at it anyway, since I knew I wanted to act. At the end of the audition, the director looked straight at me and said, "You have a great voice. Why aren't you in choir?" It was such a poignant question, and I had no idea how much it would impact my life. I have been singing since that day, and I don't plan on ever stopping.

On a semi-related note, I don't really have an interest in acting anymore. Role-playing satisfies that itch for me, and I've also discovered that I have a hard time playing characters that have some sort of antithesis to my personality. The good news is that I'm so multifaceted that I can latch onto aspects of characters and bring those to the fore, but it also means that there are many aspects that I can't portray because they oppose one of my own. Voice acting, on the other hand, would be a lot of fun.

Yesterday's Card:	Ten of Wands
Reflection:	A burden I'm pretending isn't there, and thus adding to my struggles...

Sunday Reading: 5/1/11

Card of the Day:	Ten of Wands
Interpretation:	A burden. One I have chosen to place on myself instead of working separately. I am in trouble.

Past: Seven of Wands

There is opposition here. I want to overcome this, but it isn't as easy as I want it to be.

Present: Page of Wands

Oh the self-delusion of the actor. The creative process can fabricate anything, even an excuse. Sometimes, letting your creativity run wild, while ensuring your happiness, causes you suffering as well.

Future: The High Priestess

But even solutions can be found through the creative process. I just need to step back and think. I know how to overcome this. I just have to follow through on it.

Yesterday's Card:	Ten of Swords
Reflection:	I'm going to miss those people. Doesn't mean I won't see them again, but it does feel like something is ending.